There's a moment in yoga class when the balance pose sequence arrives, and the teacher encourages you to accept the wobbles, and be curious about how it feels to be out of balance - wobbly, in fact.
I'm always a bit anxious about those poses. Will I be able to hold the pose? Will I have to drop the pose and start over? Will everyone notice? Will everyone BUT ME be able to do this?
The answers? Maybe, probably, not so much, and definitely not.
Somewhere between being certain and being completely lost, there's the a wobble. Whether it's an actual physical wobble or a mental wobble, vacillating between two options, we've all felt it. And usually, we don't like it very much.
There's a reason we don't like that feeling. We feel that we lack control of our bodies and our minds. Whether you practice yoga or not, we've all had the experience of holding onto something really tightly only to watch it crumble. In yoga, they teach us that the more we concentrate on clenching our muscles and holding on really tightly, the more likely we are to fall out of that pose. So, we're encouraged to "embrace the wobble." To welcome it, even, and to look at that moment with curiousity and grace, rather than judgment. Why would we want to be happy or curious about why we can't hold the pose?
Because that sense of lacking control and teetering on the edge is how we live so much of the time. And on occasion, maybe more frequently than we like, we can't hold the pose. We forget something, drop something, say something in haste that we can't take back. Our balance gets disrupted, and we judge ourselves a failure.
But, if we can acknowledge those feelings and moments, and move through them with a bit of grace and equanimity we retain (or perhaps regain) our balance.
Seeing the wobble as part of life, not a failure, is how we learn to live with the fallout.
It all feels pretty wobbly right now and I'm really tired of wobbly. I want a bit of certainty. But since that seems unlikely, I'm trying to embrace the wobble and all the emotions that come with it.
Wobble along, dear ones. It's how we move on.